happy = bored = lonely = friends...

Here I was doc, enggie, LR already at our booth. I was still mad at doc though I smile and say hi. I take my seat I realize I was mad at all of them. They didn’t let me go after her that day before week or so. I tell them I’ve to scoot early, after initial protest we all agree to leave together in about half an hour. Like usual we talk about stuff, things which made no sense to so called sane world but us. Suddenly my phone cry, just another forwarded txt it is and then I realize it’s been over two hours I was there!! Its funny how time fly by with three of them. I strike topic of leaving, again same protest and we leave.


I don’t know why I always feel so different sometimes, I look at my watch and I wish I could fly from here, vanish somewhere. We are at LR’s niece birthday. a family function it is.  I make an excuse to come out for smoke doc n enggie joins me, they are pissed and bored but we all can’t bail. LR comes running, yells kill me!! Son of **##@#!! I pass him smoke. He continues it’s more boring than doordarshan. I wish if time will pass little fast!! It’s funny I am with all three and its boring. In spite it was boring but something good happen that night, but it’s not topic for right now.

I am at my apartment I am just up, my clock tells me its 2 in the afternoon. I check my phone no missed calls. No sms oh well except from my network operator. It’s been more than 2 months I haven’t seen any one of them or even heard if that matters. I do not go out anymore I’ve not touched drinks since long. Do I miss them? Well they are pain in arse but I think I do. But when you are through you are through nothing more you can do. Am I sad? I don’t know about it but sure I am not inspired, I lost my inspiration long time back, I think. Sometimes it doesn’t make sense. I am alone I know I am not sad but lonely. But when you choose you make decisions. Some of them, well you have to live with it. What more I can say? Paranoid being you clings to things, persons or situations. Afraid of letting them go. Gotta move on soldier you gotta run when you choose, you choose and you don’t look back. You never look back. It’s amusing I am without them and I am all I am. Nothing more or less. Nor sad or happy. ..

love,

This Person Does Not Exist™